lauantai 4. lokakuuta 2014

Why Master of Puppets Sucks Even Though It's the Best Record Ever Made

The music we listened when we were teenagers is the best music we'll ever come by. This is rather straightforward, really, but often people don't seem to realize that. We'll never feel the same way we felt about music when the music was the only thing that mattered, when we found ourselves fistfighting (I accidently wrote: "we found ourselves fisting". Oops?) over which was better, Metallica or Megadeth etc. As we listen to those records that meant so much to us when we were younger, we revisit that nearly sacred bond between a man (or a gal - I'm not a bigot, you know?) and a metal record and naturally that record leaves a huge emotional impact on us - for the duration of that piece of music we are fifteen again, hanging out with pals long forgotten and passing a joint (I didn't do that, mom, it's just a mental image, okey? I'm painting a picture here, so just go with it) around while listening to that Most Awesome Record Ever Made.

There's nothing wrong with nostalgia, really, but the problem surfaces its ugly face when people don't realize the root of their pleasure and they try to reason why something far from perfect is the best thing ever evethough it clearly isn't. Here comes the part about one of the most popular metal records (among metalhearts): Master of Puppets. Everyone of us - no matter where you're from, what year you were born, or what other kind of metal you listened to - have listened Master of Puppets when we were younger; most of us liked it then, and very many of us loved it back then, thus creating a unique collective emotional bond with it. Even if you didn't like it - there are people like that, too - you had an opinion on it and, like myself, went to stupidifying lengths to prove your point to that other kid, who really loved the record. (Roni, I'm thinking of you here, in a extremely platonic manner, just to be clear.)

When it comes to Master of Puppets, there is no adjective too cheesy, too over-the-top and nothings too much, that can be attached to it. Yes, it is an important record and it certainly has a lot of high quality musicanship, but it's still just a record with several flaws in it that are easy to point out if you want to or can hear the record without the emotional judgement of nostalgia. First of all, James Hetfield wasn't that great a singer. His voice has only one dimension and he does what he can do with it, but to what it all boils down to is the simple fact, that with a more qualified vocalist (for example John Bush of Armored Saint and Anthrax - the guys from Metallica wanted him onboard, but Bush was reluctant and eventually refused to join the band) Master of Puppets would be a better record. Secondly, Master of Puppets is a product of its time of creation and thus reflects this. When it was released, no-one knew the importance the record would have in just a couple of years, but from our point of view (2014, nearly 30 years after the release) the influence is easy to see - as I said, everyone of us has heard the record when we were younger.

Sure, there are lot of very good elements in Master of Puppets - as I have said - but is it really the best record ever made? No, far from it, no matter how brilliant it might seem to be. Without the emotional burden of nostalgia and listening the record just as a collection of songs, the myth about the Best Record Ever Made unravels very quickly.

I'm not trying to take the nostalgia or the enjoyment from you, but instead I'm trying to point out the purpose of this blog and what it means to be subjective. I'm trying to show that we all have different kind of view-distorting nostalgia with us - something we compare everything else to - and most of the people seem unaware of this. That is why Master of Puppets is and isn't (kinda like Schrödinger's cat) the Best Record Ever Made: it seemed like that back in the day and now we're just too old, too tangled up in nostalgia, to see the painfully obvious truth that Master of Puppets kinda sucks.

Man, that's too dark, too serious. I have to lighten the things up a little... with a joke, yes. Okay, here we go... Wait, I got it, just a second. Yes, let's go with a classic knock-knock joke from Catch Me If You Can:
"Knock knock"
"Whose there?"
"Ehm... Go fuck yourself."
Who's overly serious now, huh?

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